A few days ago, a man I know named Tim was telling a story about his day. He started by saying that when he was young, he was hit by a semi truck. He didn’t specify that he was in a car, but it became clear from context. He said he was not even sure how he survived. He then circled back to what had happened that day.
He had been merging onto the highway next to a semi, so in order to not stay beside it, he sped up. The semi also sped up and stopped him from merging in front of it. He said he was forced to slam on the brakes and slow down. He was angry with the semi driver. He said the driver was problematic and full of pride. But, was he? Perhaps he was, but Tim was very much at fault as well.
Tim requested feedback, so I pointed out to him that if he had slowed down to begin with, he wouldn’t have had to slam on the brakes. He wouldn’t have felt unsafe. He wouldn’t have been triggered then or upset now. The whole situation could have been avoided. Moreover, even if he had behaved the way that he did, he still had options other than just sit in resentment toward the semi driver all day.
These options lead to peace. These options lead to the experience of God’s grace. These options lead to forgiveness being second nature because we realize that we placed ourselves in a position to be hurt. The world didn’t do it to us, we did it to the world.
I have done what Tim did. I think there are a lot of us out there who have. I think there are a lot of us who would try to blame past trauma or bad experiences in traffic. But deep down, we know what we did and why, and whether we remain in anger or in peace the rest of the day may rest on what we do next. At this point in my relationship with God, if I find myself in a situation like that, the second I slam on my brakes and see that I am worked up, I know that I am guilty. Are they guilty of blocking me? Sure. But am I guilty of selfishness? Absolutely. Am I also now guilty of resentment and judgment? Shoot, it’s getting deeper quickly.
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